Wednesday, January 12, 2011

And it rained ice

Wow so many thoughts are going through my head since I last posted.

First of all I didn't run 1/9 which I feel so incredibly guilty about. I hate excuses and I hate winers. I hate it when I wine. I hate I can'ts. I won't. It makes me sick to hear it, but we all say that stuff and on 1/9 I said I don't want to run. My feet have been pretty badly beaten up by my new shoes that I had to replace. Its been 4 days since I traded them in and yet still they hurt. Its like running with lead weights that keep me from going into the zone.So what did I do instead, I spent the whole day feeling incredibly guilty.  There I have confessed. Forgive me my friends I have sinned.

OK.......Next...... Running long distances is like joining a church. Wherever you go you find people who speak your language, hold your ideology, and worship at the same temple.  (Maybe thats a little dramatic) but ever since I started running I have found people everywhere with whom I can connect with. Furthermore, I have reunited with old friends and made better my relationship with current friends. Look I expected to get in shape, maybe lose some more weight, and find myself. Whatever. Yadadayadadadyaaddad. BUT I did not expect to feel so connected in a sport that is all about the individual journey.

Why is this? Well originally competition was this lofty idea of two or more people searching to better themselves in the search for something greater. Look it up. Ancient Greece, Olympic games and their origins. It is all there. Somehow competition has devolved into beating people and winning for the glory of it. Yet at one time it wasn't about who won, it was about what people could achieve together, not as individuals. I think runners subconsciously get this.  Ever since I started running I have received nothing but encouragement, love, support, and a sense of this invisible community that transcends distance, time and even level of achievement.

Which brings me to my next point. I have this overwhelming feeling of inadequacy. Yeah sure, most people don't workout like this, they don't put in these miles, and all of that shit.  Yeah I have come a long ways, but............... I can't help like I should be going farther, should be going faster, and harder.  Maybe it is a good thing? It has always driven me towards positive things in the past.

This post has already taken up too many paragraphs, but let me just say. Today it rained ice in Portland. Actual ice. Like not sleet, nor hail, but little frozen crystals. How incredible is that????????

run--6 miles

run -7 miles

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